The Consequences of Ideas: The Christian and Sexuality

April 25/26, 2015

The Christian Covenant of Marriage

We believe the Christian covenant of marriage by which one man and one woman establish a lifetime partnership for the protection and well-being of the spouses and the procreation and bringing up of offspring is to be honored as holy. This covenant should only be entered into by two professing followers of Jesus Christ. This is a binding covenant between the man, the woman and God.

Jacob’s Well Church believes that the Bible mandates that sexual activity is to be enjoyed exclusively between a man and a woman that have been joined together in holy matrimony. All other sexual activity violates the Biblical standard for Christians. 

This covenant may only be broken in the extreme cases of marital infidelity, abuse or abandonment.

There's a lot to talk about in this declaration. It can be a very passionate topic for many of us as we try to balance our belief in God's word with loving people. What are your beliefs about marriage and sexuality, and where have those ideas come from? 

READ Matthew 5:27-30
Jesus uses hyperbole in these verses to make the point that sexuality is powerful. It often begins with a look or a touch, and our lustful imaginations are set into motion. Unless we guard our minds from these thoughts, the power of our sexuality and our imaginations can quickly take us down a road of pain and heartache. Our ideas begin to take action, and our actions can have devastating consequences. If you're open to sharing with your group, how have you seen this concept play out in your life or the lives of those around you (without naming names)? 

Paul spoke this past weekend on a few points. One by one, DISCUSS with your group what these mean.

• Our culture is broken in regards to sexuality.
• You and I are all born broken in regards to sexuality.
• Sexuality is powerful and needs the safety of marriage.
• We need to rediscover the purposes of sex.

          1. Establishing, renewing, and deepening of the covenant of marriage
          2. Reunion of the separate complementary genders
          3. Creation of children within the safety of family

READ 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

"And such were some of you." Yep, you and me. Many of us have practiced sexuality outside the covenant of marriage or outside the scope of God's intentions. But more than that, this passage includes other ways that we may have sinned in our past, or maybe even our present. Do you idolize something or someone? "Thieves, the greedy, and swindlers" can refer to the lust for money. "Drunkards" speaks for itself. "Revilers" or "slanderers" (depending on your version of Scripture) refer to those who speak abusively. "And such were some of you." 

And then there's this beautiful word, "but." 

"But" means it's not the end of your story. 

   "But you were washed."

   "But you were sanctified."

   "But you were justified."

All under the new covenant of the death and resurrection of Jesus. 

Have you accepted that gift of life yet? Have you faced your past with God's guidance? Have you been forgiven yet? What a glorious freedom there is in choosing to follow Jesus, to know Him, to become like Him, to be washed and sanctified and justified. God may be calling you to this take this step on your journey. If so, reach out to those in your small group and ask them to walk alongside you. Let them help you heal.

Christ's healing is for all believers to become chaste 

LOOK up the word chaste and TALK about it as a group. Many of us have preconceived notions of this word. What does it mean to you? What does it mean for God's children to live a chaste life in today's culture? How difficult does our culture make living a chaste life? How does Christ's healing help us live chaste, and how does His healing heal us?

GO DEEPER

If you have time and are interested, READ Hebrews 11. NOTE those people from the Old Testament who were sexually immoral. This may require looking up a few of their stories for reference.

And yet, after failing to live within God's plan for marriage, they made a choice to change direction and live a chaste life. "These all were commended for their faith." (v. 39a) You and I can choose every day, through thick and thin, to live within God's guidelines of sexuality. Then, when all is said and done, we can be "commended for our faith" too.

The Consequences of Ideas: The Christian Covenant of Marriage

April 18/19, 2015

Recapping last week:

ideas > beliefs > actions > consequences

As Christians we define right and wrong based on 

the nature and character of God 

as revealed in Jesus Christ 

as described in the Bible

READ John 4:1-42

You may know Jacob's Well is named after this story. Jesus meets this woman where she's at and offers her life like she's never known it before. That's who we want to be...people who journey together to know and become like Jesus. It's a great story to remember that people have been living outside God's idea of marriage for centuries. This is nothing new. It's also a great example of the consequences of living outside of God's best for us and how God can always redeem less than ideal circumstances. 

We recognize that everyone comes with different perspectives on marriage. We want to be sensitive to the fact that each person has their own story. Some people are in great marriages, some marriages struggle, and some have lost a spouse they loved dearly. Some are single and happy, some are single longing to be married, and some are single knowing that they're "window of opportunity" has closed. Some are students who want to be married someday, but it's so far off it's hard to comprehend. Some are divorced, maybe not of their own choice, having to make sense of it all. 

Take a few minutes to CHAT with each other about your past thoughts on marriage. Then let's look at scripture.

READ Matthew 19:1-6
where did you get that idea?
In our culture, marriage is often seen as a contract to be entered into or dissolved at will. There's an expectation that's developed over the years that our spouse is meant to "complete" us, as a famous movie quote states. We've lost the sense that marriage is a sacred spiritual covenant, where two become one and should not be separated.

the purpose of family...

  to reflect the nature and glory of God

  and thus…

     create a foundation for society

     create a safe place for a man and a woman to compliment one another

     create a safe place to raise children

• Do you agree or disagree with this statement in light of the scripture given? Is this statement on the purpose of family different than what you've sometimes thought about marriage? 
• If you're familiar with the Old Testament, how does the formation of the people of Israel parallel this statement on the purpose of family? 
• Notice in this scripture that people are looking for rules to justify doing what they want. Jesus' replies essentially saying, "That's not what God intended for your life. He has a better plan. He made a different rule for you." What are your thoughts to Jesus' response? DISCUSS this underlying idea of marriage as God intended.

READ Matthew 19:7-9

but that’s socially backwards

If some of us are honest, we'll admit this is a great question. Moses is this great leader, so why is he telling people to get divorced? What gives? There's so much of scripture that we read and don't understand. Don't we all have questions? Thankfully, Jesus gets to the point and helps us see that our hearts are at the center of our relationships with God and with each other. 

• How do we keep our hearts from getting hard even through all the difficult circumstances that we encounter?
• "But it was not this way from the beginning." How does going back to the beginning, before sin entered the world, help us understand how God intends our marriages to play out? Would it be safe to say that there's a spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy that binds a man and woman together allowing them to love one another through all sorts of circumstances? How does a hard heart make life more difficult?

READ Matthew 19:10-12

are you serious?

Jesus is calling some people to being single, whether by circumstance or choice. What's beautiful about this passage is that he doesn't force it on people. "The one who can accept this should accept it." Although being single can sometimes be lonely, companionship and meaning can still be found in friendships and serving for God's purposes. Those who are single can serve others in special ways that those who are married aren't able to accomplish. The apostle Paul is the perfect example. If he would have had a family to support and look after, he wouldn't have traveled and reached as many people with the Gospel. Being jailed for his faith was easier to do without providing for a family. Focusing on all of the churches he had spent time in wouldn't have happened if he would have had to focus on a family. Jesus tells us in this passage that the calling to be single has to come from a greater vision for God's Kingdom. 

• Have you ever thought about singleness is this way?
• We all have a story of being single, even if it was from only from our high school years. What was your experience?
• Can you think of other circumstances where being single rather than married could benefit the Kingdom? How so?

* * * * *

So what do we take away from all this? What's our next step?  How can we improve our marriage ... prepare for marriage ... heal from a broken marriage? If we're living outside God's idea of marriage, how can we get back in line with His vision? How can we encourage each other? How can we pray for one another and for our families? TALK over some ideas with your small group. WRITE down prayers for one another and ways to take steps this week.

next steps

   worship
PRAY for people this week, for those that come to mind. THANK God for these people, and PRAY for their growth in being single, married, or divorced. ASK God to heal what needs healing and show His love in meaningful ways.

   belong
Summer softball teams are now forming, both co-ed and men's teams. Call Tony Engedal at 715.559.9548 or email him at tony@jacobswellec.org to find more info about spring practice and summer games.   

   

   grow

Check out the @home Center at JW for resources on being single, preparing for marriage, improving your marriage, or recovering from divorce. These resources are available for sale or to check out. 

   serve

Mother's Day is around the corner. We'll have six services again, and JW Kids will need a few more people to help that weekend. If your small group is willing to step into that role, we would love to have you join us for a little fun and laughter. Maybe childcare isn't something that fits your group, but you're willing to greet or make coffee or serve in some other way. Let us know and we can find a place for you. office@jacobswellec.org

Know someone who's loves technology? Invite them to serve on the JW Tech Team as a camera or media operator or sound tech. Contact Syd at 715.833.2050 or syd@jacobswellec.org.

   share

Builders for Christ summer work trips are coming up soon. If this is something you’re interested in, there’s a planning meeting Saturday, April 25 in the Prayer Room at JW from 4-5pm. Email Rick Podolak at rpodolak@prodigy.net as soon as possible with any questions you may have. In the subject line write "interested in BFC."